NONSENSE

Deadline: 9 FEBRUARY 2014

Mad Hatter: “Why is a raven like a writing-desk?”

“Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.

“No, I give it up,” Alice replied: “What’s the answer?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea,” said the Hatter.

We want to start 2014 a little feverishly, like a carnival ride, with our hats on sideways and a wink on our grins, paying tribute to one of our favourite writers and illustrators: Lewis Carroll.

We’re inviting you all to put your top hats on, dine with candelabras, sing with mice and grin at Cheshire cats. Maybe even indulge in a pen name. Perhaps invest in a feather pen and tip the clock hands back, stand on your head with your hands in your shoes – tell us something silly.

But, remember – there’s logic in nonsense, you just have to know where to look.

Lewis Carroll

Yes, we’re paying tribute to Alice in Wonderland's creator, but we’re also remembering the nonsensical wonderers who came before and after ­– Edward Lear, Roald Dahl, Dr Seuss, Edward Gorey, Ivor Cutler. Take the eccentricity from each of these writers and artists, and through thick, blurry specs, you’ll see the logic and the dots the lines, the clever craft of painstakingly intelligent and illogical penmanship. 

Sometimes though, you won’t see it. Sometimes it’s just nonsense. But it’s always fun – it’s illogical logic. Are we making sense? No? Good.

Rhymes & riddles

Lewis Carroll is the pen name of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, but you all knew that. Make your own pen name. Dodgson was a tremendous mathematician, professor and photographer, there was always more than meets the eye.

Carroll also had a habit of making up words and making them stick, making them memorable and fun to roll around in our mouths – uffish, mimsy, galumphing – even more than 100 years later. He was a neologistic wizard. Try it yourself – see if it sticks. Become a portmanteau connoisseur.

Or give us riddles, puzzles, acrostics, rhymes that we can remember and say over and over again, just because it sounds nice, beats like a drum and has a steady, galloping rhythm.

Fairy tales

Of course we want fairy tales – à la Alice in Wonderland - but we don’t want the sickly, happy ever after, cupcake sort of stuff. No Once Upon a Time. Nor do we want Brothers Grimm (we’ll save that for a different theme), we want weird worlds full of characters that fizz, hiccup and chortle - the Mad Hatter, the Mock Turtle, the Dodo, the rabbit.

Become a child again. Carroll, Dahl and Lear were writers that seemed to understand how to talk to children. If you've forgotten, you might need to look through the looking glass again.

Taboo

Don’t be afraid to go a little outside the box, here – we welcome this with wide, Cheshire grins. Carroll was never afraid of taking Wordsworth’s words, sticking them on the wall and playing pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey with them. Bend the rules, we’ll let you.

Better yet, have a nosey on Carroll's lesson on how to apologise to someone for standing them up. It's brilliant.

Read our submission guidelines for full details on where, what and how to submit. Read a list of our favourite things to see the sort of things we love. Even better, unlock our archive and get a taste for our style - it'll only help you in the long run. After all, we might not be your cup of tea, and we'd like to be. Like a tea tray in the sky...

We're looking for the very best illustrators, photographers, designers and artists to work with. If you think you've got what it takes, get in touch with us at synaesthesiamagazine@gmail.com.

The madder, the better. And please don’t be late, we simply can’t accept your submission otherwise. Plus, you’ll upset the rabbit.

Source: Vintage Winnie

Synaesthesia Magazine Short Story Competition 2014

The Synaesthesia Magazine team are proud to announce our first short story competition!

We have had a fantastic first year at Synaesthesia Magazine. It makes us so proud to see our readership growing and our contributions increasing, so what better way to end the year than to give you all the opportunity to take part in our very first competition?

Opens
15 November 2013

Closes
7 January 2014

For this exciting leap into 2014, we're lucky enough to have Adam Marek, award-winning short story writer of two fantastic collections, Instruction Manual for Swallowing and The Stone Thrower, as our guest judge.

Here are the delicious prizes we have lined up for our winner and runner-up:

Winner:

• £60 Amazon voucher
• 2 x books courtesy of Comma Press
• Publication in Synaesthesia Magazine's February 2014 issue
• Winner's interview in Synaesthesia Magazine's February 2014 issue

Runner-up:

• 1 book courtesy of Comma Press
• Publication in Synaesthesia Magazine's April 2014 issue

All submissions will be judged anonymously, with our top stories read and judged by Adam Marek!

The rules are simple, but please read them carefully:

• Only one (1) submission per person
• Word limit up to 2,500 words maximum
• Entries must be in English
• Entries must be previously unpublished
• All short stories must be in .doc, .docx or .pdf format, with Name of Entrant, Story Title as the file name
• All entries must be sent via email (as an attachment) to synaesthesiamagazine@gmail.com
• Subject line of email to include: Name of Entrant, Story Title, Short Story Competition
• Body of email must include author's name, email address and PayPal address
• No corrections can be made after submission, nor fees refunded
• There is no set theme
• The competition is open to all; it is not restricted to UK residents only.

As we run the magazine entirely on love and coppers from our piggy banks, for this competition there is a small entry fee (£4.00) which is available to pay via PayPal only.
 
If your entry fee has been successfully processed, each entry will be accepted, but unfortunately we cannot reply to each and every email (as much as we'd like to!). A shortlist will be published on our blog and sent to all entrants in January. The winner and runner-up will be notified by email, and asked for their address for the prizes to be sent to. 

Good luck!

About our guest judge:

Adam Marek won the 2011 Arts Foundation Short Story Fellowship, and was shortlisted for the inaugural Sunday Times EFG Short Story Award. His first story collection Instruction Manual for Swallowing was nominated for the Frank O’Connor Prize. His stories have appeared in many magazines, including: Prospect and The Sunday Times Magazine, and in many anthologies including Lemistry, Litmus and The New Uncanny from Comma Press, The New Hero from Stoneskin Press, andThe Best British Short Stories 2011. His second story collection is entitled The Stone Thrower.

Entry Payment 1 x Entry £4.00 GBP

These are a few of our favourite things

by Carlotta Eden - Editor
@1chae

Editors are mothers. They cradle words in their ink-stained hands and rock them gently until they hiccup and burp and sleep without fidgeting. Sometimes they have to be strict, and tell words that they can’t play with that other word because that other word isn’t good for them. Sometimes they have to say no because that’s how stories get better. But mostly they love words and just want to see them grow into great, great stories that others point at and go, heck, I wish I’d written that.

So we’ve decided to write about what we like and what we don’t like in our submissions. And if you don’t like what we do like, then that’s fine. Maybe it’s just not meant to be. It’s important to remember that your submission absolutely doesn’t have to be perfect. We’re not expecting Shakespeare. If you bring us something that makes us coo we’ll tell you it makes us coo, and we’ll work with you to turn that extra o into an r so it makes us go corr.

We like poetry that howls from the rooftops. We don’t like poetry that shouts into a microphone. One commands, the other imposes rudely. We like modest poetry, poetry that tells us, actually, it’s pretty terrifying being human but y’know what? Here’s a puddle. Look at its rainbow.

We’re not particularly drawn to poetry that laments, or mourns, or talks about how much it misses its boyfriend. We don’t like poetry that feels sorry for itself.

We like poetry that talks to us like we’re humans, sometimes even friends, and poetry that goes bungee jumping and, if it’s not feeling up to it, puts its feet up and flicks through crappy TV channels. Not because it can’t be bothered, but because it’s honest. It doesn’t try hard. 

We like short stories that come to bed with you and kiss you somewhere you didn’t know you liked. We don’t like short stories that preach, or teach us a lesson, or politicise or talk about David Cameron, unless it’s about someone who performs plastic surgery on himself to make him look like David Cameron because, wow, what? We like short stories that make us go wow, what?

We like short stories that tease and don’t necessarily give us what we want. If there’s a word in your story that you have to think twice about, get rid of it. Get in and get out. We don’t like stodgy prose or long-winded narratives. We can tell if you’ve tried to be Mary Shelley. We really, really can.

We like short stories that say hey, babe, take a walk on the wide side. We like stories that take us on a Greyhound bus to Baton Rouge. We like stories that have been gunned down to the ground and come back fighting. We like short stories that question the minority that are questioning the majority without asking a direct question. We like short stories that are the beginnings of a knock knock joke but not the end. We don’t like sob stories, but we do like stories that whisper, I had to write this.

And if you still want to know what we like, we like Ian McEwan, Miranda Kerr, Adam Marek, Alice Munro, Kurt Vonnegut, Denis Johnson, Ben Brooks, Tobias Wolff and James Frey.

We like it even more when you read our submission guidelines. Please stick to our theme; we simply cannot accept your submission otherwise, no matter how wonderful. We only have a limited amount of space to design in the magazine, so submissions must stick to word limits. We just want to make your page look magnificent.

SCIENCE AND NUMBERS

Deadline: 9 NOVEMBER 2013

We know, we know, you’re ‘not a numbers person’. That’s totally fine. Neither are we. We failed Maths (three times), so we really get it. But numbers don’t have to be scary. If you’re a poet or a songwriter or a lyricist or something equally wonderful, you’re thinking in numbers without even realising it. You’re working with beats – 1, 2, 3, 4.

We’ve put science and numbers together because we think it’s going to be beautiful and frightening and it’s going to send us stark raving mad. We’re going to use that other side of the brain that really, really scares us. It’s going to be a challenge, because most writers aren’t scientists or mathematicians. But we’re curious. We’re curious about how the world works, all its chemicals and colours and the way a person’s skin sometimes goes bumpy when you touch them. In fact, we’re science’s perfect outlet.

Note: You don't have to intertwine both science and numbers - either/or will do.

Technology

Thinking in numbers also lends itself beautifully to art and photography. There are all sorts of tricks and mechanisms in a camera that are alien to most but to photographers, it’s as natural as, well… 1, 2, 3. It brings in a whole other element to the theme – technology. That’s a huge word, but as writers and artists, we’re obsessed. What’ll the world look like in 70 years? What is this thing that we're writing on with fast fingers that can show a million people all across the world our thoughts in less than a second? We've become so used to fast technology we don't stop to think about how quickly we can have almost anything we want at the touch of a fingertip. Technology is magic. Technology is a monster.

Synaesthesia and science

And then there’s synaesthesia. The neurological condition that involuntarily compels a person to muddle their senses has barely been touched upon by scientists. We can only go so far deep into the mind before coming out onto a misty road and not having a clue where to go next. Do as synaesthetes do: observe. Have a read of our interview with synaesthete and writer Rachael Spellman in our CITIES issue on pages 18-19 to understand the way colours and sounds can influence the way she writes, and turn your own senses on their head. Colours are science. Science in colours.

Numbers

Numbers have structure. Poetry has structure. Stories are bound by beginnings, middles and ends. We’re not going to separate words and numbers anymore. We’re going to let them exist side by side so they can fight it out and hug for a bit and just be friends. 9’ll hug its cousin nine and metaphors will lie across atoms and molecules and they’ll talk about what colour they see the world in.

And if your maths brain needs a little goading, have a read of David Tammet’s Thinking in Numbers. We’ll leave this passage here, just to get you started:

“Like colors, the commonest numbers give character, form, and dimension to our world. Of the most frequent — zero and one — we might say that they are like black and white, with the other primary colors — red, blue, and yellow — akin to two, three, and four. Nine, then, might be a sort of cobalt or indigo: in a painting it would contribute shading, rather than shape. We expect to come across samples of nine as we might samples of a color like indigo—only occasionally, and in small and subtle ways. Thus a family of nine children surprises as much as a man or woman with cobalt-colored hair.”

Atoms of inspiration

• Riddles. Lewis Carroll was a genius when it came to writing riddles and poetry with a beat, with a sway. Think mathematical sums, think x = y. Hey, look! Now we've got letters. We're good with letters.
  
• Breaking Bad may be over, but, cor, didn't it give us some beautiful words? Magnesium. Methamphetamine. Endling: a word used for the last living representative of a species. Ununoctium. Ununoctium has the highest atomic number, so it's very unstable. Imagine Unu as a high-flying CEO with quiveringly poor social skills. Uh oh, he's fallen for Magnesium (Maggie) - popular, slightly materialistic, sour Magnesium.
  
• There's poetry in the periodic table, you know. You just have to look for it.
•  Space. Space is huge. Space is terrifying. No-one in their right mind would fly out to space but people do and it's mad. Why do people do it? What if something sent you on the brink of insanity and you just wanted a holiday somewhere that wasn't on this earth? What if.
• It's really very hard to rhyme/The right sorta beat should do it/It's like/Da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum/Like one and two and three and four/What if, you say, you mess it up?/Yeah, er, then you've really screwed it.
• Artists: think skeletons. Think the skeleton of a phone, or a radio. Think sound waves. Step inside a television. 
• Photographers: think in colours. Think in graphs. Think about the mathematical structure of a building.
• Time travel – go full science fiction if you like, or take a step back and look at it quietly. What makes us want to travel through time?
• Give numbers personalities.
• Give colours sound. Mute the world; what if sound didn't exist?
• Play with the months of the year, the days of the week or the numbers on the clock.

Most importantly, don't forget the deadline: 9 NOVEMBER

Have a read of our NEW submission guidelines, and email all submissions to synaesthesiamagazine@gmail.com

July theme: The Seven Deadly Sins

Our next theme is the seven deadly sins. The deadline date is 7 July, 2013.

How many of us can actually remember all seven?

Lust

Gluttony

Greed

Sloth

Wrath

Envy

Pride

If you're in need of inspiration for submissions, try out some of the following ideas:

Lust

• A photograph of high heeled stilettos.
• A story revolving around Objectum Sexuality (sexual attraction to an object); a man falls in lust with his old sewing machine; a woman secretly visits a trolley park after dark.
• A poem describing the sound of lovers' fingertips through the taste of fruit.

For some visual stimuli... head on over to Jack Vettriano's website - one of our favourite artists, and without a doubt, a keen explorer of this theme! Here's a little (non-explicit) taster...

Jack Vettriano - An Imperfect Past

Gluttony

• A photograph of plates and plates of rotting fruit and vegetables.
• A poem describing the juices running down the chin of a man/woman who the narrator is disgusted/turned on/obsessed with.

©July 2011 'Gluttony' by Fabienne Lopez

Greed

• A conversation between ten pound notes as they are passed from hand to hand.
• A poem describing money only through their smell and sound.

'Greed' by Liol

Sloth

• A story about a man whose laziness and inactivity leads to his rotting with the house he lives in, as mould, rubbish and the stench of stagnancy builds up around him.

Found on hannahruthkellett.wordpress.com

Wrath

• An illustration/painting/photograph of an explosion of colours symbolic of rage.

'Wrath' by Ricciolo Ribello

Have a look at Ricciolo Ribello's conceptual photography project, 'The Seven Fetish Sins'. 

Envy

• Something green - slime, ivy, mould, a green dress on a woman.
• Why do women tend to be associated with envy or lust? Are women more prone to feelings of jealousy than men? If so, why? Have a go at writing an article discussing this.

Photo found here - ickle_munchkin's flickr photostream

Pride

• A story about a man or woman whose vanity leads to their demise; the mirror they stare in daily begins to crack, and as it does, so does their skin, oozing with thick black tar.

Have a look at Matthew Johnston's quirky interpretation of pride here.

Picture found here

REMEMBER:

Don't TELL us what pride, envy and feeling anger feels like, SHOW us instead. What colour is sloth? Is greed the jingle of a heavy pocket or the healthy shine on a diamond?

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Send all submissions to synaesthesiamagazine@gmail.com


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Submission Guidelines

Deadline & Theme

The deadline is now CLOSED. Check back here soon for a new theme and deadline date!

What to submit

All work must be your own creation

• Short stories and flash fiction
• Poetry
• Songs/lyrics
• Book/short story/poetry reviews
• Writing tips
• Writing exercises
• Creative articles on the subject of synaesthesia
• Photography
• Illustrations
• Cartoons
• Sketches
• Paintings
• Digital design.
• We like interviews. If you have experience with synaesthesia or know someone who has - send them our way! If you think you'd be an interesting candidate to interview, tell us why.
• We can accept already published work, as long as you have permission from the publisher/author/copyright owners, and we have proof. 
• Nothing is off-limits. No, really. As long as it's your own work, there is no restriction on genre, style, format... so long as it's in English.
• Anyone can submit, so long as the work is your own creation.
• Use synaesthesia. Confuse your senses. It can only go in your favour if your submission is either synaesthesia-related, or evokes a sense of synaesthesia. Have a read of our What is synaesthesia? page, if you're unsure what that entails.

Submission requirements

• All submissions must correspond to the current theme. No matter how great your submission is, if it has nothing to do with our theme, we just cannot accept it. If we're impressed, we may keep it for a future issue - if the theme corresponds. But you may have to send in your submission again, because not all of us are elephants.
• We can accept up to four (4) submissions per person; 1500/2000 words for short stories, 1000 words maximum for articles, reviews, writers' tips etc, and go wild with poetry (not Paradise Lost wild..).
• All submissions must be sent to: synaesthesiamagazine@gmail.com. No regular post, because we have no address.
• All submissions must include a 3-4 line author bio in third person. Nothing too verbose, either. Author photographs are also welcome, but not essential. Please note that biographies may be edited for design purposes, but will always convey biographical information accurately.
• Any photography/artwork must be of good digital quality with file size no less than 1MB.
• Please send all submissions on or before the current deadline. We cannot accept submissions received after the deadline.
• Copyright remains property of the author.
• Please let us know in your submission email if you are unhappy for your submission to be accompanied with poetry/photography/words/illustrations in the magazine.

What we can offer you

We appreciate that no-one is making any money out of this (but who's to say we're not getting you one step closer to publishing your future best-selling poetry collection?) and, as writers and photographers ourselves, we know what's like to receive impersonal, detached, demoralising feedback. Or no feedback at all.

Here's how we work: after we've reviewed all our submissions, we'll compile a shortlist. Once we've compiled a shortlist, we'll go into editing mode. We'll give you as much feedback as we can (under time constraints); we might suggest edits, ways you could improve, or we may just praise you unconditionally. No artist improves without a second pair of eyes, and luckily for you, we're your second pair of eyes.

Our blog

Our blog (the one you're reading!) is still in refurbishment. We would to make our blog a place to come to in between issues; a place to pick up helpful tips on writing, photography and artwork, for inspiration and articles and information about synaesthesia. If you would like to be a guest contributor, please don't hesitate to get in touch with us!

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If you have any questions, or you'd like to send a submission, please contact synaesthesiamagazine@gmail.com

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